Good morning Well, wasn't that something special? As exciting a day's Test cricket I've seen along with all four days of Edgbaston 2005 and the Friday of the Lord's Test against West Indies in 2000. I think Jonathan Trott and Mohammed Amir are shoo-ins for two of the five Wisden Cricketers' of the Year now and I was mightily impressed by both. I can't say Trott has exactly thrilled me in his Test career to date, with his touch of the Tavare. But I stand corrected now. His control was immaculate and he displayed Collingwoodesque stones, in Smyth's phrase, when the ball was jagging about yesterday morning. A purposeful stride, bat and pad playing in concert defensively and some powerful drives. Amir was brilliant, too, and I am really looking forward to see if he can lead Pakistan's fight back today. I also have some sympathy for Asif, he was almost unplayable at times in the morning session but ended up wicketless on the day. Everyone, players and commentators alike, seem obsessed with the Lord's honours board over the past few years and this must be a relatively new phenomenon, referencing it as a motivating factor so much. I can't recall many players 15 years ago talking about it so much. Anyway, I'll be back as soon as the players are summoned by the ding-a-ling of the bell.
Oversight corner: Forgot to say it's a fine day at Lord's and we're set fair for a full day's play and, hopefully, the sun is shining on Bull's nuptials.
112th over: England 346-7 (Trott 149, Broad 125) My friend James Brown, en route to watch Leeds play at Watford, wonders whether Trott's coolness means he's been taking lessons from . Ajmal opens proceedings to Broad, the sun block not quite rubbed in on his cheeks. His third ball dips, bounces and turns away from Broad's defensive stroke and he begins with a maiden.
113th over: England 349-7 (Trott 150, Broad 126) Trott raises his bat for 150 off the first ball of Amir's over, tucking the ball off his legs straightish through midwicdket for a single. In comes an extra slip for Broad but he gets away for the day and beats the 1931 ninth wicket partnership record of Les Ames and Gubby Allen with a thickish edged drive to point. I'm sure I read somewhere that Allen used to have a house at Lord's and his own key to the pavilion. Also that Fred Trueman had some blistering things to say at his attempts to show him how to bowl.
114th over: England 351-7 (Trott 151, Broad 128) Turn from Ajmal but its fairly slow and easily played by Broad but there's also some low bounce which might later prove troublesome. Salman Butt's field placings are getting a pasting from Ramiz Raja on Sky, too many gaps at mid off and mid on and Broad takes a single with a push to where mid on should be.
115th over: England 357-7 (Trott 152, Broad 132) Amir stations a short mid off to Trott, I don't know whether that's a catching position or an attempt to stop him gardening or using his feet. Trott stands up on his toes to play a rising ball into the leg side to post the 250 partnership. Wayward slash outside off stump by Broad with his Adidas bat (which sounds as incongruous as Gunn and Moore football boots) then he flashes hard oustide off stump and the ball races to the third man boundary.
116th over: England 361-7 (Trott 152, Broad 132) Ajmal tempts the faintest of edges off Broad but Kamran's iron gloves spill the chance and to be fair the edge was so negligible I'm not sure they would have appealed. Ajmal tried the doosra but his line was allwrong and Broad managed to cover it if not exactly play it with ease. Four leg byes complete the over.
117th over: England 361-7 (Trott 152, Broad 132) Amir comes round the wicket. The first left arm quick I saw doing this was Mike Whitney at Old Trafford in 1981 and he ran straight down the middle of the wicket and was advised to come back over. Wasim, of course, was the master but was it something done by Alan Davidson or Jeff Jones or John Lever or any other left-arm seamer whose name escapes me? Experimental over from Amir, trying to get his line right from round the wicket. Experimental is being nice. Michale Holding called it "rubbish". Many years ago during a John Player Trophy match, Jim Laker was silent during an entire over before saying "Terrible over from Sidebottom. Terrible." And left it at that. Poor Arnie.
118th over: England 364-7 (Trott 153, Broad 134) Understandably Pakistan are playing like cowboys who have been in the saddle all the previous day. Game but stiff and with these gaps in the ring they are being milked for singles.
119th over: England 365-7 (Trott 153, Broad 135) Amir continues round the wicket to Broad with a gully, point, short cover, deep extra and mid off. he's bowling outside off stump with shades of Matthew Hoggard's approach to Sachin Tendulkar in India in 2001-02. Operation frustration seems to be the plan. Broad takes a single to third man and the off-side ring moves over for the right-hander. Amir bowls three feet wide of off stump to Trott. He's too good for this approach. If they want to buy a wicket why don't they chuck Farhat on? Neither batsman had a clue what he was going to do.
120th over: England 370-7 (Trott 153, Broad 135) Wayne Atkinson asks: "Since you mentioned Wasim and we're watching a huge 9th wicket partnership, cricinfo has the biggest ever as being Wasim and Saqlain's 313 against Zimbabwe of which Saqlain contributed only 79. Sounds like an awesome innings from Wasim with Saqlain blocking everything - I'm wondering if you or any of the OBOers saw it or no any more detail?" I'm afraid I didn't Wayne. Did anyone else? I'll look it up in a minute. Got the Sky test card for the whole over so saw nothing of it - nearly had a panic attack, though.
121st over: England 371-7 (Trott 157, Broad 137) Paul Jenkins writes: "'Understandably Pakistan are playing like cowboys who have been in the saddle all the previous day. Game but stiff and with these gaps in the ring they are being milked for singles."' ...an attempt to put the most gay innuendos in a cricketing blog entry of all time?" Yes. I was reading that piece by Julian Clary in G2 on the way home last night and something must have rubbed off. There, I did it again. Josh Robinson has only cricket on his mind: "For what it's worth, this is the highest eighth wicket partnership in Tests in which both partners have scored a century. They've got another 50 runs to go before they catch up with the all-time record of 313, scored by Wasim and Saqlain against Zimbabwe in '96, the game in which Wasim scored an undefeated 257 at No8. And yes, I wrote this in my dressing gown." Thanks Josh. Amir's line is wee bit more orthodox thsi over but to no avail. Broad's is now the highest ever by an England No9.
122nd over: England 376-7 (Trott 160, Broad 138) This is an intriguing question from Karl Meakin. "Do you know at which exact point a century becomes one of Gooch's 'daddy' centuries?" I think Trott's is a 'daddy' century, he got there somewhere in the 140s. Broad's is a 'jocular uncle after three Tangled Foots' century and will be even if he gets 200. Pakistan have completely lost all initiative as well as the initiative.
123rd over: England 377-7 (Trott 160, Broad 138) One from Steve Donovan's Mike Giggler bank: "Yesterday , you were discussing father and son centurions, you forgot the most obvious one Miandad!" My wife's a terrible cook… etc. Maybe Asif can conjur sonething up and he spends some time fiddling with his field with three on the offside on the edge of the square and three more on the leg. Broad escapes the containment with a single. Those pictures of Steve McQueen have brough this from Sean Moore: "Only Steve McQueen could manage to look cool in those dodgy tennis pumps which used to cost two quid a pair when I was at school, and were the source of much merriment and acute embarrassment when mine made their debut on a muddy school football pitch in Liverpool in 1975." Effortless, wasn't he? Troot continues with his strategy of coming down the wicket to Asif but the bowler keeps him honest by varying his length.
124th over: England 380-7 (Trott 162, Broad 139) Egbert Hes (bt) asks: "Is it my imagination combined with general total cluelessness about cricket, or are you ever so slightly numerically challenged? 113th over: England 349-7 (Trott 150, Broad 126)
112th over: England 346-7 (Trott 149, Broad 125) How can England gain three runs when both Trott and Broad only get one run each? This disdainful shrugging off of mathematical inevitability occurred in yesterday's report a few times as well." Well, where do we start. By saying "extras" and falling for your trap hook, line and sinker. Or just let it be. By the way are you a baronet with the (Bt)?
125th over: England 385-7 (Trott 162, Broad 144) Edward Genochio has done some Frindalling for us: "By my reckoning (OK, by my reckoning of StatsGuru's reckoning), this partnership between Trott and Broad is now the highest for any wicket by England against Pakistan, overtaking Thorpe & Vaughan's 267 for the 3rd wicket at Old Trafford in 2001." That's amazing, if true. Thanks, Edward. Broad smacks a cover drive off Asif, his first shot with a real hint of yesterday's performance about it, then takes a single to mid-off with another pendulum swing of the bat.
126th over: England 392-7 (Trott 167, Broad 146) Broad is becoming more expansive and chips Ajmal's slider over midwicket. Stately progress from the rest of the over until Trott cracks one with an open face through cover for four. Geoff Roberts asks:
"Will Broad now grow up and stop throwing tantrums? You'd think that a performance like this might add a touch of maturity. We'll see." I called him a prat when he threw that ball at Haider, Geoff, and let's just say his aggression divides opinion on here.
127th over: England 400-7 (Trott 167, Broad 154) ...And just to say Edward was spot on with his stat about this being England's highest ever partnership against Pakistan. And Broad brings up his 150 with a sumptuous extar-cover drive from (it must be said) a rotten wideish half-volley from Asif. Highest ever Test score by a No9, incidentally, is Ian "Just a drummer in the band" Smith's 173. Broad then whacks another half volley through the offside for four. Drinks.
128th over: England 405-7 (Trott 168, Broad 154) Selve points out that I said this was a ninth wicket record when I should have said eighth. D'oh and sorry. He also has this gem about GOB Allen, Bodyline refusenik: "Gubby used to live in the house behind and just to the left of the pavilion as you look at it from the field. He had his own gate into the Harris rose garden. I saw him one day arrive at the usual pavilion entrance, and he was stopped by the jobsworth because he did not have his MCC pass. 'Oh dear,' he said, 'I'll just have to let myself in then.' Which he did with his key to the other back door." Thanks, Mike, that's very good. Gary Naylor, go to the back of the class for this "clever" aside about the sainted Duncan: "Re Father and son centuries, did Duncan Fletcher and Ashley Giles both get tons? (I know Bill Lawry and Shane Warne doesn't count, as Warne was out on 99)." It made me laugh anyway. Ajmal continues and they post the 300 partnership. Not much to report, England are so dominant.
129th over: England 410-7 (Trott 169, Broad 158) Now this should be fun. Imran Farhat gets a bowl. Peter Hall is curious: "It's drinks… but the Pakistani team are Muslim… and it is Ramadan… do they get special dispensation?" I don't know as Sky use the break to squeeze in more ads so I didn't see if they imbibed. Broad plays a classy leg glance down to (very) fine leg for four. Kamran keeps up his encouragement. Sorry for my ignorance of Urdu but he seems to keep saying "Shabazz!" as well as "good ball". Is that right?
130th over: England 424-7 (Trott 174, Broad 167) Now Wahib gets a bowl and a chance to improve on yesterday's ragbag. Jamie Kirkaldy is reading from beneath the barbershop cape: "I am emailing from a barber's chair, from whence I have been following the OBO for the last 10 minutes. That I am able to do this is thanks to: a) mobile internet technology and b) that holy grail of modern day male living: a barber that doesn't try to engage you in conversation. Karim of Walters of Oxford, if you are reading this over my shoulder, rest assured a tip is coming your way." Mine is a Lebanese chap who does nothing but talk, quite loudly, about his rotten customers, many of whom he bars. He is the Soup Nazi of Acton. It's an improvement from Wahib, his delivery anyway, but he still concedes a boundary and then he goes off the boil a bit and Broad smacks him through wide cover for four to beat Saqlain's and wasin's world record eighth wicket partnership. It's Roy Castle time at Lord's. Then Broad does it again and overtakes his father's Test best of 162.
131st over: England 430-7 (Trott 179, Broad 168) Off goes Farhat and back comes Ajmal. Thanks to Nakul Krishan, "Shabash" is Kamran's cry, "well done" or "bravo". Sad news from Chris Brummitt from another barber's chair: "Just been for a shave in Islamabad and they were watching Sri Lanka playing India for what must be the 30th time this year. Had to ask them to switch over to the Test match. Test cricket dead here." They must have been watching yesterday? Trott calmly pushes another four to square leg. Here's another stat, courtesy of Sky's Benedict, no batsman has ever score two 200s at Lord's. And Trott could do it in one summer
132nd over: England 431-7 (Trott 179, Broad 168) I'm grateful to Graham O'Reilly, John Starbuck, Amy Lassman, Dr Aust and Tim Lawrence for filling me in on the Ramadan dispensation for the players which has been mentioned on here before. Sorry, and for repeating yesterday's Miandad joke. Wahib sticvs to a line outside off hoping for inswing but getting none and wasting the over.
133rd over: England 432-7 (Trott 179, Broad 169) Slower ball from Ajmal almost gets Broad playing on and Kamran shouting "Shabash", (Ravi you were the second to email on that subject. Thanks, anyway). The turn is too slow here and the lack of bounce means he's not much of a threat.
134th over: England 434-7 (Trott 180, Broad 169) Cheri Powers has an idea: "I think England should declare. It isn't like Pakistan are likely to successfully chase 400+. Enough already - let's move on." "Let's move on"? Is that the sort of attitude that built Britain? Wahay! Wahab bowled a beauty, a rare one, pitching middle and off and just sliding past Trott's outside edge. It's a close as they've come since Kamran dropped Broad (but they weren't aware that he'd nicked it).
Review Broad lbw Ajmal 169 OUT! Broad went down on one knee to sweep, getting his front leg a good two yards down the pitch, and Billy Bowden must have assumed he had underedged it and turned down the appeal. Pakistan asked for a review and Hotspot discounted the batsman touching it, and Hawk-Eye showed it was hitting middle. Exit Broad to a cacophonous standing ovation. What a knock.
135th over: England 438-8 (Trott 180, Anderson 4) Ajmal had gone for more flight from the first ball of the over and Broad had played and missed at the first, padded the second and was undone by the third. Enter Jimmy and he gets off the mark with a two and then sprints another sharp one with the ball trickling to fine leg.
136th over: England 439-8 (Trott 181, Anderson 2) Matt Thomas has another depressing update on Test cricket's defeat at the hands of ODIs in south Asia: "Similar problems as Chris but I have spent three hours walking around Colombo in Sri Lanka trying to find the Test, currently sat in the back of a small bar watching the game on an 11in TV. No commentary as the tv doesn't have sound, seems like the other lads in here are enjoying the Sri Lanka v India game! BORE, but the beer is cheap!" Well, it does involve the Lankans I suppose. Wahab is getting up into the high 80mphs and getting a little more bounce to get Anderson up on his toes but he's like, well, Mark Ilott. Good ball, wide one, good one, short one…
REVIEW Anderson lbw Wahib Pakistan throw their last one away with one that hit Anderson's pads but pitched leg stump and would have missed by a yard and a half. NOT OUT
137th over: England 444-8 (Trott 182, Anderson 6) Trott does the opposite of farming the strike, "unfarming the strike?", and takes a single off the first ball, Steve Waugh "Red Inker" (not out in the scorebook) style. Anderson brings up quadruple Nelson with a four turned off his pads to fine leg.
138th over: England 445-8 (Trott 183, Anderson 6) Last over before lunch and Trott plays a straight bat to Wahib and leaves the three balls sprayed wide of off-stump. Takes a single off the last ball and leaves for lunch to deserved applause. I'll be back at 1.40pm.
Lunch Tim Woollias has been in touch with an unintended consequence of Broad's magnificent innings. "We've got to bat on, just to give Broad a rest. This is a drawback of a four-man attack we hadn't really thought about, if one of them bats himself out of the attack, we're down to three bowlers." I can see the dangers, Tim. But most all-rounders claim that doing well in one discipline fires them to do well in the other. We'll have to see if Broad lives up to this verdict. John Starbuck has his eyes on the passenger list for the plane to Australia: "Unless there are absolutely place-saving innings from KP and Colly next up (and they may not get to bat) could it be time to tell them thanks but no thanks? Not only are they both getting on a bit, which did for the footballers in SA this year, their names are much too long. It's all about the snappy surnames these days, no more than two syllables allowed, so welcome back Ian R Bell at No4." Geoff Miller selecting on syllables? Could that happen? They're not going to drop either, memories of that stand at Adelaide in 2006 wil never be dimmed and they'll be hoping that KP can sort his head out and Colly is capable of a last hurrah. Anyway Carberry's got too many syllables in it. But then again Lyth and Gale haven't. Hmmm.
Wicket!! Anderson c Hameed b Akmal 6 Thick edge to slip from one that turns modestly.
139th over: England 446-9 (Trott 184, Finn 0) Ajmal is broadly grinning as he starts his over, must have had a good lunch. Trott plays back to the second ball and is rapped on the pads while slightly squared up Peter Willey fashion but the ball is sliding down the legside. He drops his hands to play the ball down on the next ball into the off side for a single, bringing Anderson to face and he's promptly out, playing forward down the wrong line. Finn defends the last ball competently that Ajmal speared in.
They're going to the third umpire to see if Trott's out caught at slip
Wicket!! Trott c Kamran b Wahab 184 Tony Hill wasn't sure whether or not Trott had hit it into the ground but it was pretty clear cut and Kamran dived in front of first slip to pouch it. England are all out for 446 and Trott leaves to applause, but because there are still empty seats as picnics continue, he doesn't get the volume that Broad got, which is a shame, as the Fast Show used to put it.
1st over: Pakistan 3-0 (Farhat 1, Hameed 1) Sunil says: "Re: father/son tons for England. Yesterday Sky said that the Broads were the only such combo to have scored tons for England Two words Ranji & Duleep." I thought they were uncle and nephew, Sunil. Farhat scampers a single off Anderson's first delivery and Hameed does the same to deep square leg off the second. Anderson's third is a peach, though, wobbling in the air but Farhat plays it down and is then hit on the legs from a no ball. A huge off-cutter makes the presence of only two slips look a bit daft to finish. Imran Farhat was nowhere near it but why two slips with such a lead?
2nd over: Pakistan 9-0 (Farhat 6, Hameed 2) Stuart Broad is given the new ball from the Nursery End. Phil Sawyer has a word about the referral system: " Yes, yes, yes, I understand the 'getting the correct decision' thinking behind these referrals, but they weren't half a damp squib of a way to end two magnificent innings." They do leave you feeling a bit short-changed, batsmen sawn off by the URDS. "How short is John Starbuck's memory?" asks Richard Caulfield. "It's not long ago Colly was being called England's most reliable batsman and his fielding is worth an inestimable number of runs. Also, KP 'getting on a bit'? The man is 30. Is that old, or is that generally when a player should be in his prime? I think you'll find it's the second one. I'm disappointed in Starbuck to be honest and feel he owes us all an apology." I'm with you Richard. John? Broad is getting some swing straight up but Farhat gets an inside edge for a four at a legside delivery that goes, via his trousers, very fine and then pushes an easy single to deep backward square.
3rd over: Pakistan 9-0 (Farhat 6, Hameed 2) Anderson comes round the wicket to Farhat and he gets the ball to wobble away from him. Beefy says it's swing, and I'll happily defer to his expertise, but it looked like an off-cutter to me. Prior hasn't said it so I'll say it for him "Nice shape, Jimmy". Four balls curve in, hit the seam and move away. Farhat pulls out of a full blown cut off the last and settles for steering it down cross-batted to point.
Wicket!! Hameed c Swann b Broad 2 Broad tempted Hameed to have a swish at his first ball, pitching off and moving away but there was no edge. His third, however, found Hameed nibbling again, clipping it to Swann at second slip.
4th over: Pakistan 9-1 (Farhat 6, Butt 0) England's plan for Hameed comes to fruition. Bowl outside off stump, good length or slightly short, and wait for the nick. John Starbuck comes back: "OK, sorry for that. If Colly and KP do the business, I'll be delighted. I really wanted to get people going and start a riff, 'cos we haven't had much of one so far today. How about speculation on whether Broad will take six and complete his hundred test wickets in this match, creating a (perhaps) unique record? Or if Strauss will enforce the follow on?" He has to enforce the follow on, hasn't he, with the weather forecast? I know a draw will do but he has to be bold.
Wicket!! Farhat c Prior b Anderson 6 Squared up to another huge swinger and edges to the keeper.
5th over: Pakistan 9-2 (Yousuf 0, Butt 0) Farhat had been discombobulated or mesmerised by Anderson's first two balls, which went from outside leg to outside off. He then seemed to deliberately leave the next two as if he was not so mesmerised but then Anderson arrowed the fifth ball a bit closer to his legs and caught the edge.
Wicket!! Yousuf b Broad 0 Pitched middle and leg, moved away and clipped off. Fast, full and pitched straight. Brilliant stuff.
6th over: Pakistan 10-3 (Azhar 0, Butt 0) That was a seriously good over from Anderson. It was interesting to hear Ricky Ponting giving him credit as the undisputed leader of the attack earlier in the week. It's a fact, I suppose, but I sometimes sense he'd rather be in the shadows temperamentally. Broad continues the good work and almost tempts Yousuf into doing a Chris Read and ducking into a ball he plainly hadn't seen. This one bounced, though, and wasn't a full bunger. Next up he clean bowls him with a beauty.
7th over: Pakistan 10-3 (Azhar 0, Butt 0) Dave Besley has a stat for us. "Cricinfo advises three players have currently reached 100 wickets and 1,000 runs in the same Test: Kapil Dev, John Bracewell and Shaun Pollock. So Broad would be the fourth." Anderson is getting extravagant swing. He's bowling over the wicket to Salman Butt, pitching oustide leg and getting the ball to veer towards the slips. He tries his sucker punch with the inswinger but the Pakistan captain had its measure and gets behind it.
8th over: Pakistan 14-3 (Azhar 4, Butt 0) Nasser Hussain gives some props to Duncan Fletcher who worked out the full, straight and swinging strategy for Mohammad Yousuf during the 2003 World Cup in South Africa. They've used it successfully several times since early in the innings. Azhar gives us a scent of The Oval with a drive on the up through point for four.
9th over: Pakistan 14-3 (Azhar 4, Butt 0) Salman Butt backs away as something flies into his eye. Not a pigeon, though. Lord's seem to have scared them away. Maiden from Anderson. You want a riff, John? A cricket one? How about England's best ever fielding side position by position as people keep saying this is England's best. A non cricket one. What about "Never made a decent record ever". Your starter for 10 is Queen.
10th over: Pakistan 14-3 (Azhar 4, Butt 0) Aidan Copeland writes in to say Broad and Trott's was England's seventh highest ever in Tests, beaten by:
411 - MC Cowdrey & PBH May, 4th wicket, vs West Indies at Edgbaston, 30 May 1957
382 - L Hutton & M Leyland, 2nd wicket, vs Australia at The Oval, 20 August 1938
370 - DCS Compton & WJ Edrich, 3rd wicket, vs South Africa at Lords, 21 June 1947
369 - KF Barrington & JH Edrich, 2nd wicket, vs New Zealand at Headingley, 8 July 1965
359 - L Hutton & C Washbrook, 1st wicket, vs South Africa at Johannesburg, 27 December 1948
351 - GA Gooch & DI Gower, 2nd wicket, vs Australia at The Oval, 29 August 1985.
Is it really 25 years since England topped 350 in a partnership? Broad bowls another maiden, at decent pace, that Ali plays well.
11th over: Pakistan 20-3 (Azhar 5, Butt 5) Steven Finn comes on from the Pavilion End and Butt plays late at a full toss to get off the mark as the ball races away to the boundary. My best 10 outfielders for England of the past 30 years would be Knott as wicketkeeper, three slips of Brearley, Botham and Flintoff, Collingwood in the gully, Randall at cover and Gower at midwicket, Anderson, and, er, two others in the deep. I'll get back to you. Finn starts well, straining for the yorker at 88mph. Then it's drinks.
12th over: Pakistan 20-3 (Azhar 5, Butt 5) "Trott's secret," says Mark Francome, "is that he is playing while chewing a couple of toffees." That's not very fair now is it, Mark. John Starbuck is going for the lodestar: "Never a decent record? Anyone involved in rap, which I put down to the Americans' fondness for the extended rhyming line - I blame Walt Whitman for that. I would except the toasting-type and reggae-backed Linton Kwesi Johnson, whose lament on the Windies' inability to stop batting collapses is a favourite. Other than that, The Smiths. Nothing more than a monotonous moaning drone. Showing my age there, maybe." I don't know what to say, John? Are you perhaps from the south of England? Any road, Broad continues, a bit too short of a length this over. Bumble waxes lyrical about the Palms of Goa restaurant just off Wardour Street in Soho. I have to agree with him. The Xacuti is superb. Richard Caulfield calls me long names for not liking Queen's dressing-up box pomp: "Never made a decent record? Michael Jackson. You heard. As for your suggestion, all I'm saying is that there are two types of people in the world: Queen fans and eugenical homophobes."
13th over: Pakistan 36-3 (Azhar 6, Butt 20) And you can put Meatloaf in there as well, Richard. Michael Jackson, though? I Want You Back no good? Pah. Butt's determined to lead from the front and he's getting after Finn with a pair of fours, the second a cracking cut. And then he goes down on one knee to spank a sublime off drive for four. Stick that in your manual, MCC.
14th over: Pakistan 40-3 (Azhar 8, Butt 22) Jimmy comes back on and I know it's a cliche but it's as if he's got the ball on a string, it's moving all over. Chris Goater shas a suggestion for England's best fielders: "Re: England fielders in the deep, I've never seen better than Robin Smith. His arm was incredible. He could send them into the keeper with the speed and accuracy of a Tomahawk missile." The judge! How could I forget, though didn't they stick him at short leg towards the end of his cruelly curtailed Test career? Azhar gets his captain's heart pumpin by calling him through for a very tight single but the next three singles are more stately affairs. Neil Mackie says Bob Dylan's vast output is garbage: "Never has, never will made a decent record - the cricketing version of Rob Key where 'experts' eulogise him, but I just don't see it." I'd guess your dissing of Key will be more controversial on here.
15th over: Pakistan 43-3 (Azhar 8, Butt 25) Finn went for 16 off his last over and Butt continues by swatting him away for two. He follows this with a low full toss that Butt pushes to mid-off. Finn looks out of sorts, his line very wayward indeed. Phil Sawyer responds to John Starbuck's prompting: "Anyone involved in rap? I'll point John Starbuck in the direction of Jurassic 5 and Roots Manuva, among others, and see him at dawn's early light to sort this out once and for all. I'd offer up Razorlight. Never has there been a better case of the emperor's new clothes. I mean, has anyone actually listened to America properly? It's garbage. I fully expect to be shouted down on this one." Not by me, Phil. Can't bear the Borrell. Butt takes a single to midwicket with a pull-flick he rather gets on top of too much.
16th over: Pakistan 44-3 (Azhar 8, Butt 26) Norris Riley. Norris Riley. How am I supposed to deal with this? "Frank Sinatra. Pub singer. Couldn't act either." I'll agree with couldn't act. He couldn't be bothered. But pub singer? One for my baby and one more for the road? Songs about pubs, yes. Pub singer, no. Richard Caulfield pulls one out of the bag with Chris Lewis for the other outfielder. Magnificent, wasn't he. The 1992 World Cup, England hammer Australia. Someone c Lewis b De freitas. Ian Chappell: "So one West Indian born Englishman helps out another West Indian born Englishman." Billy Birmingham couldn't have made it up better. Just a single off Anderson.
17th over: Pakistan 44-3 (Azhar 8, Butt 26) Right, let's see what answers Finn's come up with. Round the wicket to Butt and his line is noticeably better, pitching it up a little fuller and looking to hit off stump. His first shortish one Butt underedges his cut into the ground. Swann looks as though he wants to have a dart at Butt. David Axford answers both questions with this and there can be no complaints from me: "Combining two riffs, here's a field set for people who've never made a decent record in their lives: Wicket keeper - Pete Doherty; Slips - Muse; Gully - Justin Bieber; Cover - Little Jimmy Osmond; Mid wicket - Phil Collins; Deep - Jedward." Maiden from Finn and a much more intelligent line.
18th over: Pakistan 44-3 (Azhar 8, Butt 26) Anderson is averaging about 85mph but the ball has stopped swinging as much as it did during the early overs. A maiden to Ali, comprised of balls pitching oustide off and cutting in.
19th over: Pakistan 44-3 (Azhar 8, Butt 26) Enter the Swann, round the wicket to Butt. Nice flight and dip with his first and his second turns quickly down the slope away from the left-hander. So does the fourth, from middle to outside off. And the fifth almost gets his trademark first over wicket as Butt tries to turn it to midwicket, gets a leading edge and loops it over the head of extra cover. Great first over but Butt survives. "Totally agree with Neil Mackie about Bob Dylan," writes Seth Ennis. "In fact, Bob Dylan obsessives are on my list of people who I'm somewhat wary of, along with vegetarians, teetotalers and Test cricket naysayers."
20th over: Pakistan 44-3 (Azhar 8, Butt 26) Colin Williams pushes the Reg button: "Elton John: overrated, cloying, sickly-sweet pap." I'm with you there, Colin. I can't believe how esteemed his piano rock became. Pianos, pah. Maiden from Anderson, trying to set a trap with inswingers and offcutters, setting up Azhar for the one that's going to move away. It's just a question of time over when he unleashes it.
21st over: Pakistan 44-3 (Azhar 8, Butt 26) Swann brings in a second slip for Butt, short leg and short extra. He's playing those mind games for Jamie Kirkaldy who writes: "Never made a decent record: John Lennon. Haircut all finished now, gave Karim a quid for his tacit work (130th over). Can I put forward John Lennon, as a solo artist before people get their knickers in a Beatles twist, as having never made a decent record? Whatever Gets You Through The Night was just about alright but the rest was absolute dross given posthumous reverence due to a well-timed death. And don't even get me started on Imagine." I like Instant Karma, Jamie but I'd say post the first debut album you're pretty much there. Good from Swann, giving nothing away, tying up Butt who doesn't quite play full enough forward or back.
22nd over: Pakistan 45-3 (Azhar 9, Butt 27) They are building pressure nicely here, Anderson and Swann, but Ali finally gets one away behind square to break the run of six maidens. I hope Bob Willis isn't reading this, though he's more of a Wagner nut than a Zimmerman one these days. Get this from James Debens which I thought was going to be a sturdy defence. "There are those who'll say that Bob Dylan freed your mind the way that Elvis freed your body (Springsteen), those who'll answer that Dylan is the peer they most respect (McCartney, Young, Wonder, Harrison), but I think he's a whiny old tramp who's been winging it for 50 years, to be honest. Love Bieber and Maroon 5 though." Did you have to do that at the end, James?. Butt takes a single off the last ball and they headd off to tea. Swann, Anderson and Broad have bowled beautifully and the evening session looks ripe for more wickets despite Butt's bold counter attack against Finn. See you in 20 minutes.
Tea I was wondering a bit about James Debens' contribution and he's had me caught at first slip. "Chap, I was injecting massive sarcasm - Blood On The Tracks, Highway 61 Revisited, Love & Theft, Visions of Johanna, Tangled Up In Blue, Blind Willie McTell. I loathe Maroon 5/Bieber/all the bands that Neil Mackie presumably thinks have changed music, eg London Boys. Have a look at . Bang to rights. And here's Darryl George Dylan Short: "Was content to have OBO quietly keeping me upto date with all goings on at Lords but had to defend B Dylan as the genius he truly is. Everyone should listen to Live at Manchester Free Trade Hall and hear where music changed for ever,not really listened to his recent outings but may do when I am 70 ! For now how about the new Dylan Mr Conor Oberst also known as Bright Eyes (nothing to do with Rabbits I may add)." I'm not a Dylanphobe, chaps. I am, according to Richard Caulfield a "eugenical homophobe".
Wicket!! Butt b Swann 27 gone to third umpire to see if Prior dislodged the bails. And it was clean bowled. Off he goes. A beautiful ball that turned from middle to off and clipped the top of off-stump.
23rd over: Pakistan 51-4 (Azhar 9, Umar 5) Swann took that with his first ball after tea. Plenty of chirps greet Umar Akmal after his attempts to disrupt Jonathan Trott with a few choice words yesterday. He plays his first ball confidently and gets a good stride in for the second. And then he dances down the wicket and smashes the next, wildly, over mid on for four. It's mind the windows, Tino, all over again. Single off the last.
24th over: Pakistan 53-4 (Azhar 10, Umar 5) Nice Phanta anecdeote from John Starbuck: "That last wicket brings to mind Bill Lawry's remark. Famous for not walking and insisting on waiting for the umpire he hit his wicket once, then waited as usual. Afterwards he said, 'when I saw the bail lying on the ground, I thought the future wasn't too rosy." And hark here's Richard Tunaley: "Bob Dylan. Listen. Hear. Genius. I am wee 39, a mere slip of a lad and Dylan is a giant. If you don't 'get him' or 'understand', sure, move on but KNOW he is an amazing artist." Finn starts with two down the legside, swinging slightly but Pakistan get leg-byes down to fine leg off the first. Jimmy Anderson has a word with Finn while Pakistan halt over some sightscreen problem. Finn's arm, apparently, is Joel Garner-long and coming from above the sightscreen and Umar wants something done about it. Perhaps Finn could have a couple of inches lopped off it. They resume after five minutes' delay during which nothing is done, because nothing can be done but he plays good forward defensives to the next two balls. Charles Jeffery posts another fielding X question: "How about England's worst ever fielding side, with Devon and the Cat in the slips, I guess any number of players from the 90s might slip into a side like that. As for recent england players there haven't been that many bad fielders." Michael Vaughan's propensity for dropping catches?
Wicket!! Azhar c Cook b Swann 10 Big appeal for a catch off the first but there was no bat but Azhar plays forward to the second and bat pads it to Cook at short leg.
25th over: Pakistan 55-5 (Kamran 2, Umar 5) It's the fabulous Akmal boys together at last but the way Swann's bowling it won't be for long. Having said that, Kamran pushes into the off side with confidence to get two off his first delivery. Swann's giving it a huge amount of tweak, getting bounce and spin to complement the dip. Mark Gillies is not a fan of Queen either: "I'm with you: Queen are effing awful. The majority of their singles have a whiff of novelty or pastiche about them. I'm willing to accept that Mercury was doing it all with his tongue in his cheek, but the po-faced twunts behind him were completely unaware of it." Yes. I saw Roger Taylor singing I'm in love with my car on Sky Arts the other night and almost fell off my chair in shock.
26th over: Pakistan 55-5 (Kamran 2, Umar 5) …and don't get me started on Brian May's clogs and his homemade guitar. Finn continues. Neil Mackie is holding his hands five feet apart and chuckling to himself: "Ahhhh, a successful fishing trip with the mention of a whiney voiced Wurzel Gummidge-a-like 'artist', with the defenders arguing about his influence. Well, he's not a patch on originators like Prince Buster, Kool Herc or Operation Ivy. Who are Maroon 5?" Who cares who Maroon 5 are, Neil? OK, they're some American AOR twaddle. Here's Dave. Dave who? you might ask. I don't know. "You say you like Instant Karma, Rob. Might this not be because like me you are mildly dyslexic (or drunk) (or both) and subconsciously associate it with Ishant Sharma? I've always thought it would be nice if at home tests India put a quick blast of John Lennon's 'Ishant Sharma's gonna get ya' on the PA whenever he comes in to bowl."
27th over: Pakistan 57-5 (Kamran 3, Umar 6) Swann is leading the fight by himself here as there's slim pickings from the Nursery End. Over the wicket to Umar who gets him away on the leg-side for a single, palying against the turn, which makes Swann's eyes light up. Trevor Marshall is another Dylan fan: "For DGB Short (Tea) - as a Dylan fan of many years, saw him for the first time this year here in Prague. Outstanding. Poet-prophet troubadour telling it like it is, in the way we would all love to be able to."
Wicket!! Umar b Finn 6 Yorks him with Umar strangely playing to the leg-side to a straight ball. Maybe he didn't pick up the flight given he's been complaining about the sightscreens?
28th over: Pakistan 57-6 (Kamran 3, Amir 0) Finn makes Umar play and miss for the first time this spell, then does it again. Bring in more slips is Bumble's cry. "Poet-prophet-troubadour", that sounds like a headstone engraving. Finn takes Umar's wicket and Umar looks so angry you sense he's got a gripe about the sightlines. And he might have a point as Finn raps Amir on the pad with a full toss with one he didn't see.
Review and Wicket !! Amir b Finn 0 He just didn't see it and it was plumb. Why Billy Bowden didn't give that out I don't know. Maybe he didn't see it either. Finn's found a blindspot and cashing in.
29th over: Pakistan 57-7 (Kamran 3, Wahab 0) This is getting cruel now. Finn's bowling balls they can't see from one end and Swann's bowling balls they can't play bfrom the other. Collingwood drops Kamran from the first ball of the over, a thick edge and he gets down the other end with relief. Wahab looks all at sea but he gets his bat on the last two. Robert Darby leaps to the Bobster's defence, too: "Ifeel sorry for those people who not dig Dylan - their lives must be very shallow. Personally, I don't rate the Beatles - they are OK if you like simple sing-a-long ditties sung with a scouse twang. I don't. Just compare with early Doors (I like the sound of that), Jefferson Airplane/ Starship, Spirit and Quicksilver, who were around at the same time - far superior. I once bought the LP Agents of Fortune by Blue Oyster Cult on the back of hearing the single (Don't Fear) the Reaper. What a mistake. A truly rubbish outfit." I don't know which of you are winding me up and who's being sincere now. I sense that Tom van den Gucht's profession of love for Julio Iglesias is genuine, though.
30th over: Pakistan 64-7 (Kamran 9, Wahab 1) The invisible Finn resumes and hits Kamran with an inswinging yorker on the front then the back leg. Billy Bowden gives it not out – they don't review it and it would have hit but remained "Umpire's Call" as it only would have feathered leg stump. Kamran respons with a very crisp drive for four.
31st over: Pakistan 66-7 (Kamran 9, Wahab 2) Perhaps I was too harsh on Wahab as he plays immaculate forward defences to Swann's first two then drives the third ball into the covers. Big leg-before shout from Swann but it was way outside off-stump. Richard Tunaley has an analogy for Neil Mackie. "Neil Mackie: Oh, touché. Your poor attempt at a cover story slips. Muhammed Yusef Ali was a Ska/Rocksteady artist. You're not even fishing in the same river. Maybe a pond? Lots of small fish." Yeah stick that in your pipe, Neil.
Wicket!! Kamran c Prior b Finn 13 Outside off stump, Kamran has a swish and walks after getting a slight nick through to Prior.
32nd over: Pakistan 70-8 (Ajmal 4, Wahab 2) Lovely off drive brings Kamran four off a fuller Finn delivery without the swinging menace of his yorker to Umar. He then takes a Kamran's wicket with one that did wobble in the air a bit. Reverse swing, apparently. When he gets his line right he's devastating but strays on to Ajmal's toes with his last ball and is turned to squre leg for four.
Wicket!! Wahab lbw b Swann 2 It's going to be reviewed. OUT. It would only just have snicked the very top of the bails but it stays with the umpire.
Wicket!! Asif c and b Swann 0 Asif's got a lovely looking Solly bat. Never seen one of those before, with an orange toe and he survives the first four balls he faces, not moving his feet, just playing at it with his bat from a half crouch. On the last ball he scoops a low catch to the bowler and Pakistan are 74 all out and England have enforced the follow on.
Innings break Dreadful performance from Pakistan since about 3pm yesterday. Awful. Keith Dixon, I have to say, has an opinion I concur with: "'I don't rate the Beatles' must be the most stupid five words ever committed to paper. I'm sure the world of music appreciates those sentiments, seeing as it was changed forever by the ditty-writing Scousers. Lord save us from ingenuous know-nothings." I think he was laying bait, Keith. At least I hope he was. Ravi Shanks, who taught George to play the sitar, asks :" was wondering - given the number of times Pakistan have been out for less than 100 or 150 in this series, is it a record?" I'll get back to you on that Ravi. John Starbuck says: "The album to check out from Robert Darby's list is Happy Trails by the Quicksilver Messenger Service: one of the all-time great live recordings, especially the cover of Bo Diddley's Mona. Maybe you could invite opinions on the best/worst live album?" Consider the invitation sent. RSVP.
1st over: Pakistan 2-0 (Farhat 1, Hameed 1) Pakistan resume 372 behind and people with tickets for tomorrow praying for rain in the next five minutes. The lights have been raised behind the Nursery End. Anderson takes the new Duke and elicits swing from his first ball. Farhat gets off the mark for the second time today, 165 minutes after he last avoided the duck, tucked down to long leg. Prior makes a wonderful stop from an Anderson banana ball down leg. He's turned himself into a fine wicketkeeper over the past 18 months.
2nd over: Pakistan 2-0 (Farhat 1, Hameed 1) Broad is going to have the chance of making the ball appear froma greta height and out of the gloom of the Nursery End. Answering Ravi's query is Justin Horton, reheating Josh Mandel's stat from Edgbaston: "Regarding Justin Horton's question (over 50), I reckon the answer is New Zealand in 1958, who were bowled out for under 100 in four consecutive Tests in England, including one in which they failed to reach 100 in both their innings. England were bowled out for under 100 in two consecutive innings in New Zealand in 1984, but both innings were in the same match." Thanks again both. Hameed has a ruish of blood, bounds down the wicket and swishes ridiculously and misses Broad's short of a length delivery. Dismal … and dumb.
3rd over: Pakistan 6-0 (Farhat 5, Hameed 1) "Ooh, John Starbuck, now you're talking, writes Phil Sawyer on live albums. "The Ramones' It's Alive. Johnny Cash's Live at San Quentin. Two live albums that should be in everyone's collection. As for the worst, a misguided friend back in the 80s had a bootleg of Sigue Sigue Sputnik live. Ye gods it was shocking. No, he's not a friend anymore." Did Sigue Sigue Sputnik do gigs? I'm shocked. Anderson's line to Frahat is spot-on until he throws one a bit wider and Farhat drives off the edge to third man.
Wicket!! Farhat c Cook b Broad 5 It has to be said that that was a brainless attempt at a hook that smeared off the splice behind square into Cook's diving hands. Nasser thinks Pakistan have menatlly gone and I think he's on to something.
4th over: Pakistan 8-1 (Butt 1, Hameed 2) Hameed plays a good-looking shot for one, whipping the bat through the line with a pull, but England will be happy with him playing so loosely. Then Hameed tries to do the same and is undone and out. Butt gets away but Hameed is a walking wicket, not good for an opening bat.
5th over: Pakistan 8-1 (Butt 1, Hameed 2) David Keech springs in on behalf of the Fabs: "One of the greatest musicians who ever lived - Leonard Bernstein - rated the Beatles, in strict classical music metrics no less, as better than most of the 20th century classical composers. Genius recognises genius they say." On live albums per se Jon Millard has this to say: "Live albums are all a load of old cod. Unless the album is a recording of the Grateful Dead, in which case, it's a faithful reproduction of a load of old cod." Never got the Dead, Jon. Meanwhile Anderson continues with his relentless probing of Butt's technique. Should he play forward or back. Leave or not. He doesn't seem sure. Mark Zip helps those of us not listening to TMS: "Listening to TMS and following OBO here in Woodstock NY. It's such a beautiful day I really should be outside selling LPs. Tuffers just relayed a stat from the TMS stats guy, Malcolm. With the exception of Broad and Trott, batsmen in this Test have averaged 9.72. Confirming yesterday's suggestion that this is one of the oddest Test scorecards ever."
6th over: Pakistan 9-1 (Butt 1, Hameed 3) Quick round-up. Ben Dunn hates The Darkness, Pete Connolly thinks the best live sides are "It's too late to stop now by Van Morrison, Live/Dead and 1969 by Velvet Underground." More to follow. And Mark Zip has taken off the extras and says the batsmen average 6.6. or rather Malcolm Ashton does. Broad keeps plugging away, certain that a mistake will be made but Pakistan survive, with a couple of judicious leaves from Butt.
Wicket!! Hameed lbw Anderson 3 Pitches off, would have hit leg and middle. Hameed plays all around it and his series is over and he never looked capable against the moving ball or with any shot discretion at all.
7th over: Pakistan 9-2 (Butt 1, Yousuf 0) Right. Can anyone help Kristian Petterson who has been watching a recording of the 1980 Centenary Test during which members of the public or bacon and egg wearers took their lives in their hands: "I really do want to know who the MCC members who gave Botham and Constant a bunch of fives during the Lord's Centenary Test in 1980. Come on, someone must know..." Yousuf is a target for the ful, fast and swinging approach again, and Anderson tries to york him but he doesn't quite get it right. The over ends with Yousuf wearing one of the finger from a ball that laept a bit off a length. On comes the physio and Yousuf looks in pain.
8th over: Pakistan 16-2 (Butt 7, Yousuf 1) It looks really dark out there, now, and Billy Bowden and Tony Hill consult. There are specks of rain on the cameras, too, but they decide to carry on for now. Butt cracks Braod for four with a splendid shot off the back foot through midwicket. Richard Woods puts a word in fore Yessongs, thus: "Much, much more than simple retreads of the studio versions, and with all their best songs from that era." What a prog bunch a lot of you are. Butt gets a pair of singles down to long leg and Yousuf gets off the mark for the day.
9th over: Pakistan 16-2 (Butt 7, Yousuf 1) Anderson is a difficult so and so to get runs off when he gets this much movement. And he almost takes the top of Butt's middle stump with one the captain leaves. It goes a fraction over. Him and Asif do bowl some beautiful non-wicket taking balls.
10th over: Pakistan 30-2 (Butt 14, Yousuf 6) Steven Finn comes on for Braod and they have cleared spectators from the Edrich stand seats nearest to the sight screen. Yousuf shows his class with a glorious extra-cover drive for four and then rocks back to tuck one just in front of square for a single. John Lee reckons: "This shows my age but The Who Live At Leeds, Free Live and Bowie's David Live. Carlos Alomar's guitar on Bowie's album is transcendent." Isn't Live at Leeds about a quarter of that night's show. What happened to the rest. Presumably it's been released on subsequent versions. Butt cracks a pair of fours through the covers as Finn strives in vain for the yorker. Ravi says it's stopped raining in Hounslow now and the sun's out. There's a rainbow above Lord's.
10th over: Pakistan 31-2 (Butt 15, Yousuf 6) Jamie Mason recommends Jeff Buckley's Live at Sin-é "Just Buckley and his guitar in a pretty tiny location - a cafe - and some of the best vocals and guitar work you'll ever hear. An amazing talent" while the physio's on for Yousuf. Now Swann comes into the attack as the rain gets heavier. Butt looks calm and determined, playing defensively quite confidently.
11th over: Pakistan 34-2 (Butt 18, Yousuf 6) There are 21 overs remaining or a scheduled finish of 7 o'clock, whichever comes quicker. Wonder what that will be? Finn comes round the wicket to Butt. They probably haven't shifted the punters in the Compton Stand seats. Pitches up his first few then he decides to try a bouncer that doesn't get up and Butt ducks it. Apparently the stump mic has picked up that Butt has mentioned to the umpires that Finn is sledging. He tries another bumper, this one does get up, and Butt veers away as it passes his chin. The batsman takes two off the attempted yorker by turning it through midwicket and Finn tries to scone him again but Butt evades it.
12th over: Pakistan 39-2 (Butt 20, Yousuf 9) Swann tries flight to tempt Yousuf who steps forward and drives him to long-off and takes three. Butt, too, is on the attack and dances down the wicket and hits Swann over mid-on, but it gets height rather than distance and Butt only takes two.
13th over: Pakistan 41-2 (Butt 21, Yousuf 10) Carole Hawley is still on the live theme and proffers this opinion: "One of the best ever: Allman Brothers At Fillmore East. Worst Ever: Rolling Stones - Got Live If You Want It (No thanks!)" I feel as if I've woken up in 1975. Nice pair of shots from the batsmen, A clip off the toes from Yousuf and a slashing cut from Butt bring them singles off the chatterbox Finn. Disturbing news of a so-called friend from Peter Hanes: "Not only did Sigue Sigue Sputnik play live, but I know someone who went to see them. Twice. Said individual (no names, no pack drill) is a wonderful person, but was also the fool who dragged me out a show by The Fall before a rare second encore because he was bored and wanted to go home." Don't tell Bumble, Peter. Or Mark E for that matter. Finn looks better bowling to Yousuf. That's drinks.
Review Butt lbw Swann 21 and Wicket!! Butt's contention was that he hit the ball first but Hotspot showed that he didn't and he has to go. A lovely flighted delivery from Swann, sliding on to middle stump about two-thirds of the way up.
14th over: Pakistan 41-3 (Azhar 0, Yousuf 10) Butt had complained twice of too much chat around the bat from the fielders and Yousuf, too, had a word with Andrew Strauss after Butt had gone off about the noise. I doubt England'll shut up now, though, as Pakistan were at it just as much when England were collapsing yesterday. Nial Allebury actually nominates a record I own, the only one among the suggestions I've received apart from Cash at San Quentin: "How about Live and direct by Aswad recorded at Meanwhile Gardens during the 1984 Notting Hill carnival. I was watching it sitting on top of a garage roof and fell off. Managed to hold on to my tin of Red Stripe, though." Do you remember Red Stripe Crucial in brown cans. It was so strong and thick it left a jammy like consistency in your mouth. Nasty. They're going to go off in a minute or too as it looks very murky now.
Wicket!! Yousuf c Trott b Finn 10 Oh dear. the light is dreadful, they were about to go off and Yousuf accepts the opportunity to hook and whacks it doen Trott's throat at deep square.
And the clouds open and it starts tipping it down. So, that's the end of play for today and Yousuf was rather done a disservice by the umpires there and he did himself one, too. Thanks for all the emails and sorry to thsoe of you who didn't make it. Barney Ronay will be here with you tomorrow but on this evidence don't bank on a full day's play. Good night.